Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Internet celebrities make my prostate throb in pain.

When I find myself wondering why I don't promote myself and my writing more aggressively, or why I don't trumpet some of my favorite half-assed causes far and wide, all I have to do is remember Cory Doctorow, and suddenly I'm content to be just some dude.

Doctorow's fiction ain't bad, but fuck, man, he should stick to that. DRM and Disney, two of his pet causes, aren't worth more than the letters required to spell them out, and they sure don't qualify as things worth cramming down the internet's throat on a daily basis. Of course, one could say the same about my own dipsomaniacal commentaries and heavy metal reviews, but I'm not, say, telling everyone that having to use a bottle opener when you could have a twist-top is equivalent to repellent, immoral crime, am I?

Next time you download, burn, rip, or record something illegally, rejoice. Don't couch it in half-assed ethics or rationalize it: say "yeah, I STOLE it." Maybe if everyone who stole shit flat-out admitted they were stealing, the leeches in the music/film industries would be swamped, and dudes like Doctorow would shut up for a spell and work on the craft of writing fiction... while taking a long hiatus from the internet. While you're at it, buy actual CDs, DVDs, and records, too. You're doing the right thing, even if it means you have to clog up your living space with "slow-decaying, space-hogging media."

Jesus, I bet the fucker's middle name is "Hyperbole."

Now, back to comparative anonymity, reading, and dragging my ass to bed.

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