My book is selling so badly it's ridiculous. I read recently that Herman Melville's earlier work (and, I believe his later books, but I haven't gotten that far into the biography yet) sold pretty poorly too, so I'm not entirely disheartened. Nothing like commiserating with a dead man who had to work a shitty job most of his life because nobody bought his books.

Buy my book, folks! Inflate my ego and bring me a few cents closer to finally getting a royalty check. It'll be fun, really.