Friday, November 22, 2013

No patience, or, this corpse is getting old.

Tonight I strolled down the street to see Adam Warrock, one of my favorite rappers. I went early enough to hear all of the three opening acts, 1.5 of which I enjoyed. What I didn't enjoy was the blathering of audience members that, in one way or another, could have been me ten to twelve years ago. I'm getting old, and bored of pretty much anything that isn't heavy metal-, literature-, or 16th century-related*. My pull list at the comic shop is halved every six months; I want to play D&D, but potential players are few and far between; being told that title X (be it a comic or game) is an awesome reiteration of something already well-established is not enough for me to spent time and money on it.

I guess I'm sick of so-called nerd culture, which in some ways resembles someone patting themselves on the back while furiously jerking off. My own interests could, and not inaccurately, be described as equally solipsistic and meaningless, and I'm cool with that. I just- I don't know. The constant appeal to the media one ingests, and the reaction thereto, seems hollow. "I like X, therefore Y", wherein X is a particular media product, and Y signifies practically nothing.

Whatever. I'm super-tired and not really fit to be picking apart media habits. Corpse out.

微臣
史大偉

*Which isn't accurate at all.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

李寄斬蛇 / Li Ji Beheads the Serpent

 After seemingly endless chapters of 孟子/Mencius admonishing various rulers, I was pleased to discover that the most recent lesson in my classical Chinese textbook was an actual story. Here's the tale of Li Ji and my translation thereof. It's full of shitty traditional Chinese attitudes toward women, but if it's any consolation, there's a giant demon-snake, too.

I've made a few notes below to explain or comment upon some of the more blatantly obscure references, most (if not all) of which I didn't understand. Explanations are courtesy of Paul Rouzer, whose textbook I've been using and cannot recommend enough.

Enjoy!

微臣
史大偉



****

李寄斬蛇

東越閔中有庸嶺,高數十里。其西北隰中有大蛇,長七八丈,大十餘圍。土俗常懼,東冶都尉及屬城長吏,多有死者。祭以牛羊,故不得福。或與人夢,或下諭巫祝,欲得啗童女年十二三者。都尉令長,並共患之;然氣厲不息。共請求人家生婢子,兼有罪家女養之。至八月朝祭,送蛇穴口;蛇出,吞嚙之。累年如此,已用九女。爾時預復募索,未得其女。將樂縣李誕,家有六女,無男,其小女名寄,應募欲行,父母不聽。寄曰:「父母無相,惟生六女,無有一男,雖有如無。女無緹縈濟父母之功,既不能供養,徙費衣食,生無所益,不如早死。賣寄之身,可得少錢,以供父母,豈不善耶?」父母慈憐,終不聽去。寄自潛行,不可禁止。寄乃告請好劍及咋蛇犬。至八月朝,便詣廟中坐。懷劍,將犬。先將數石米餈,用蜜麨灌之,以置穴口。蛇便出,頭大如囷,目如二尺鏡。聞餈香氣,先啗食之。寄便放犬,犬就嚙咋,寄從後斫得數創。瘡痛急,蛇因踴出,至庭而死。寄入視穴,得九女髑髏,舉出,咤言曰:「汝曹怯弱,為蛇所食,甚可哀愍!」於是寄女緩步而歸。越王聞之,聘寄女為后,拜其父為將樂令,母及姊皆有賞賜。自是東冶無復妖邪之物。其歌謠至今存焉。

In the Min region of eastern Yue* are the Yong mountains, which are three miles high. In a crevice to the northwest which lives a giant serpent some seventy to eight feet in length and a hundred feet in circumference. Locals had always feared it, and it had killed the military commander of Dongye, as well as several high-ranking officials. Cattle and sheep were sacrificed to the serpent in the hope of receiving good fortune, but never to any avail. Sometimes the serpent would give men dreams; sometimes it would come down and inform wizards and priests that it wanted to eat virgin girls of twelve or thirteen. Magistrates and military officers all suffered from the serpent's poisonous aura.** The authorities sought out maidservants born into households*** and the daughters of criminals, and on the first day of the eighth month escorted them to the mouth of the serpent's cave. The giant snake emerged, chewed the girls up, and swallowed them.

Years passed in this manner, until nine virgins had been sacrificed. At this point in time the authorities searched for more virgins, but none were found until they came to Jiangle county. There, in the household of Li Dan, were six girls, but no boys. The youngest girl, named Ji, said that she would go and be sacrificed, but her father would not hear of it.

"Father and mother," Ji said, "you are without fortune. You have had six daughters and not a single boy; it is as if you haven't had children at all. I am not a daughter like Tiying, whose achievements rescued her parents. Since I cannot support you, and only waste clothing and food, there is no benefit to be had from my life- it would be better to die young. If by selling myself I make a few coppers to support my parents, how would that not be virtuous?"

But her parents, who loved Ji, still would not allow her to go. Ji could not be stopped, and secretly left on her own. She asked the authorities for a fine sword and a snake-biting dog. On the first day of the eighth month she visited the temple, where she sat with her sword against her chest and her dog by her side. She took several pecks of rice balls mixed with honey and roasted barley flour and placed them at the mouth of the serpent's cave. Catching the scent of the rice balls, the serpent- its head as large as a grain bin**** and its eyes like mirrors a foot across- promptly came out and ate them. Ji unleashed her dog, and it tore into the serpent as Ji dealt it several sword-blows. Severely wounded and in pain, the serpent leapt away and fled back into its cave*****, where it died.

Ji entered the cave and found the skulls of the nine virgins, which she picked up and took outside. "Because you were scared, weak things, you were eaten by the serpent. I pity you!" she scolded. Then Ji walked home at a leisurely pace.

When the king of Yue heard this, he wed Ji and made her his principal consort, appointed her father an official of Jiangle county, and handsomely rewarded her mother and sisters. Since then there have been no monsters in Dongye, and to this day the ballad of Li Ji is still sung.

 ***

(A note on the title: my original source just refers to it as 李寄, but online I found 李寄斬蛇, which explains what Li Ji did- even if the extended title is still misleading, since there's no beheading going on.)

*Present-day Fujian, which is still poetically known as Min.

**Rouzer says that the serpent has been killing people indirectly by exuding some kind of noxious fog, but as I was typing up my translation the line I use above came to me, and I liked it.

***I take this to mean "girls born into household slavery."

****Given how big this snake is, this grain bin sounds more like a damned silo- which is more in line with the modern use of 囷, but I went with Rouzer's interpretation.

*****The character used, 庭, means "main hall" or "courtyard", neither of which makes sense to me w/r/t caves, but I took it to mean that the serpent, which was outside when it was gorging on rice balls and getting its ass beat, returned from whence it came.

Saturday, November 09, 2013

RIP Craig Ruggles

My friend Craig Ruggles died Sunday.

Nothing can prepare you for the death of a friend. You might, like me, think yourself a Leto II pre-sandworm/pre-precocious asshole, but it takes very few genetic errors to prove you wrong, and there's no accounting for others' genetics, which is what felled Craig.

I met Craig during the 2011 UH study abroad trip.

I thought I could write something about his sudden passing, but I can't right now. I'm sorry; I'm useless as ever, but I'll try again later.